It's been one of those weekends where it's evident that we serve a God who is active in our lives, a God who sees the big picture of our lives and is slowly putting itspuzzle together piece by piece.
Despite massive amounts of homework and projects that come with being a senior, last night I chose to go to a Halloween party and hang out with some friends, a much needed break after being consumed with classes and work the past few weeks. It was the exact relaxation that I needed, and at the end of the night one of my friends asked me if I'd be willing to help her with her 3 year old Sunday school class this morning. Though feeling a bit swamped with all that I already had to do, I agreed.
When we got to church this morning, I was asked to switch into the baby room. Secretly, this is one of my favorite age group to work with at church. There's just something about the innocence of babies. Because of a recent church expansion (so we're now meeting at 2 different campuses), we ending up having a one to one ratio of babies to adults, which made the morning even better. I love being able to just focus in on one or two children rather than trying to keep 20 under control. This also lead to some sweet conversations with the men that I was serving with. Turns out that one of them works with Intervarsity, so he knows a thing or two about college students. When I shared with him what I want to do post-graduation, he told me that his wife is a social worker and could give me a better idea of what grad school would look like, what kind of doors and MSW would open up, etc. This lead to a sweet conversation with his wife, which has left me reeling as to what my next step will be. It's definitely something that I've been praying for hardcore. It excites me that God would put people in my life who can help direct me.
God is good. All the time. I have no idea where I'll be this time next year, but he does. God's got me safely in my hands. What more could I ask for?
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Over the past few weeks, a lot has happened that is completely out of my hands. Stuff happened with the women in my section, with my family, with my friends, and I'm left standing with empty hands having nothing to give. I have no solutions. These situations are completley above me. And as I stand helpless, longing to offer something of worth, I take comfort in knowing that when I am weak Christ makes me strong. This is completely out of my control, but not His. God's got this. Though I don't understand His plan, I rest in knowing that He is in control. He's got this.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
My Future in Christ is Clear
It's been awhile since my last post not because I've had nothing on my mind but because I've had too much on my mind. God's been teaching me at the speed of light, I'm I'm simply trying to keep up.
Though I can't tell you exactly how it happened, somehow I've fallen. I've fallen into the trappings of this world. This semester has consumed me with searches for the securities of this world, security in my appearance, in friendships, in family, in finances, in achievements, in plans. I've become trapped by the things that world calls important and, in the process, lost sight of God's truth.
As a senior in college, people keep asking me what I have next. Quickly I'm discovering that I'm no longer a child but an adult and am quickly gaining the resposibilities of being an adult. This is evidenced in what were my future plans. As I considere my next steps, I was quick to jump on the idea of going on to grad school to open up more vocational possibilities in the future. My plan was quite secure; I'd move back home for a year or two, get my MSW at the school that my mother works at (because it'll be cheapest), then make a plan from there. This last week, God's really shaken this plan. Not that it in itself is bad, but it's not a plan that I've prayed over or surrendered to Him. It's a plan that I've chosen because it was safe and relatively easy. Now God's challenging me to yet again surrender my plans to Him, to give up the "certainty" of this world to rest safely in His arms.
Yesterday while having breakfast with my brother, the topic of my future came up again. When he asked of my future plans, I again mentioned grad schools then working with an organization overseas somewhere, hopefully in Africa with kids. :-) Though I've loved working with missions organizations in the past, I hoped to work with a somewhat different kind of NPO. Why? Basically, money. Though my mission's experiences have been incredible and faith-growing, I cringe at the thought of having to fundraise for my basic needs for the rest of my life. Translation: I want the security of a weekly pay check rather than trusting that God will provide my daily bread. Hmm. Not ok.
Another doubt that jumps to my mind when considering the reality of moving overseas long term (not just 6 months but life long) is the fear of being alone. As soon as this thought pops into my mind, God reminds me that He will never leave or foresake me. "Yes LORD, I know You're there. But I want someone in flesh and blood as well." Translation: God, You're not enough. Yikes! NOT ok.
So who am I really putting my trust in: God or myself? Who am I truly relying on. Hmm. That would be me. No wonder I'm tired. No wonder I'm stressing out. No wonder I'm overwhelmed. I've taken my eyes off of Christ and focused on me alone. But here's the thing: I have no idea what the future holds. I have no idea what's going to happen in 20 seconds let alone 20 years. But God does. God knows. Unlike me, He isn't bound by time. So why do I worry? Why do I freak out? My future in Christ is clear.
LORD, forgive me for my selfishness. Forgive me for being self-absorbed. Forgive me for trusting in what is temporary and seen rather than what is eternal and unseen. You are God of all. Nothing is impossible for You. You are my only hope. You've got this, LORD. You hold me safely in Your arms. Teach me to rest in You, Papa. Teach me to trust You with my life. You've got every detail, Papa. Nothing happens outside of Your control. In You alone I place my trust. You are all I need.
Though I can't tell you exactly how it happened, somehow I've fallen. I've fallen into the trappings of this world. This semester has consumed me with searches for the securities of this world, security in my appearance, in friendships, in family, in finances, in achievements, in plans. I've become trapped by the things that world calls important and, in the process, lost sight of God's truth.
As a senior in college, people keep asking me what I have next. Quickly I'm discovering that I'm no longer a child but an adult and am quickly gaining the resposibilities of being an adult. This is evidenced in what were my future plans. As I considere my next steps, I was quick to jump on the idea of going on to grad school to open up more vocational possibilities in the future. My plan was quite secure; I'd move back home for a year or two, get my MSW at the school that my mother works at (because it'll be cheapest), then make a plan from there. This last week, God's really shaken this plan. Not that it in itself is bad, but it's not a plan that I've prayed over or surrendered to Him. It's a plan that I've chosen because it was safe and relatively easy. Now God's challenging me to yet again surrender my plans to Him, to give up the "certainty" of this world to rest safely in His arms.
Yesterday while having breakfast with my brother, the topic of my future came up again. When he asked of my future plans, I again mentioned grad schools then working with an organization overseas somewhere, hopefully in Africa with kids. :-) Though I've loved working with missions organizations in the past, I hoped to work with a somewhat different kind of NPO. Why? Basically, money. Though my mission's experiences have been incredible and faith-growing, I cringe at the thought of having to fundraise for my basic needs for the rest of my life. Translation: I want the security of a weekly pay check rather than trusting that God will provide my daily bread. Hmm. Not ok.
Another doubt that jumps to my mind when considering the reality of moving overseas long term (not just 6 months but life long) is the fear of being alone. As soon as this thought pops into my mind, God reminds me that He will never leave or foresake me. "Yes LORD, I know You're there. But I want someone in flesh and blood as well." Translation: God, You're not enough. Yikes! NOT ok.
So who am I really putting my trust in: God or myself? Who am I truly relying on. Hmm. That would be me. No wonder I'm tired. No wonder I'm stressing out. No wonder I'm overwhelmed. I've taken my eyes off of Christ and focused on me alone. But here's the thing: I have no idea what the future holds. I have no idea what's going to happen in 20 seconds let alone 20 years. But God does. God knows. Unlike me, He isn't bound by time. So why do I worry? Why do I freak out? My future in Christ is clear.
LORD, forgive me for my selfishness. Forgive me for being self-absorbed. Forgive me for trusting in what is temporary and seen rather than what is eternal and unseen. You are God of all. Nothing is impossible for You. You are my only hope. You've got this, LORD. You hold me safely in Your arms. Teach me to rest in You, Papa. Teach me to trust You with my life. You've got every detail, Papa. Nothing happens outside of Your control. In You alone I place my trust. You are all I need.
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