Running Tunes

The songs/prayer that got me through my morning run.

LORD, if You can use me, where You lead, I will follow.

Tank Time Take Three

An intimate moment with Sophie

Oh those eyes and that little thumb!

Yup, it's official: I'm the aunt who's gonna forever gush over the little man who's stolen a piece of her heart.  Give me a break, though; how could you not fall in love with this little guy?

Sup?

Love that little face and those furrowed eyebrows

Hello there, Sir Drools-A-Lot

Auntie, get my profile!

Discovering grass

Monkey feet

Ezra receiving his first biopsych lesson =)
"Ezra, our interaction right now is increasing the myelination of the axons in your brain.  You're gonna be so smart!

Now

Kid friendly

Yesterday I had the privilege of spending some time at the beach.  While there, I noticed a little girl who appeared distressed.  Her calm manner of chasing seagulls quickly turned to panic; she began pacing a small distance of beach, threw herself into the sand, then began crying for help.  I scanned the shore, looking for her parents, wondering why no one was responding to her cries.  Either she noticed my gaze or I simply have a billboard on my head that reads kid-friendly, because she immediately came running toward me.
"Help! Help!  I need help!"
"Sweetie, what's wrong?"
"I can't find my babysitter!  I was chasing seagulls and wandered away and now I can't find her!  I need help!"
"It's okay, honey; I'll help you find her.  Which way did you come from?"
"Over there.  I need help!  I'm too little to be alone!  I never should have run off!"
"Sweetheart, it's okay; we'll find her."
As we began walking back in the direction she had come from, little Emma continued to freak out as my reassurances seemed to fall on deaf ears.
"My tummy hurts.  It really, really, really hurts!"
"Does your tummy hurt because you're scared, hun?
"Uh-huh."
"Sometimes my tummy hurts when I'm scared too.  I hope your tummy feels better once we find Miss Lisa."
"What if I have to stay here forever!  What about when it gets dark?  I'm afraid of the dark!  I'm too little to be alone!"
Putting my hand on the small of her back, I said, "Honey, we'll find her.  I won't leave you until we find her."
That finally did the trick to calm the sweet child down.  Shortly down the beach, we found her friends and babysitter.  She ran to them without looking back.
Knowing that she was okay, I started walking back when God gently nudged my heart and I couldn't help but laugh.
"Papa, You've got quite the sense of humor, hey.  I'm that little girl; I'm so consumed with my fears in the moment, with the unknowns of how things are going to work out, that I can't see Your plan in all of this, can't hear Your reassurances.  The solution must seem so simple in Your eyes.  Like this little child, I must trust that You are with me, that where You're leading me is safe and good and peaceful.  Your ways are higher than mine; why do I lean on my own understanding?

Where You lead, Papa.  Give me the peace to quite my fears and trust the direction in which You lead.

People, please!

Last week a friend and I, both self-admitted people pleasers, came to this realization:  often our people pleasing is based on either fear or guilt; fear of hurting or disappointing the person, fear of how they may respond, guilt for not meeting their need or for not being able to help them.  Here's the thing about fear and guilt though; neither of these emotions is based in the present.  Guilt is basing one's present feelings on the past, wishing we could go back and miraculously change an event that occurred or the way in which we behaved.  Fear, on the other hand, is based on the future, guessing what might happen if we do xyz, trying to prevent unfavorable consequences.  And while our emotions may be past or future oriented, we're only able to act in the present.  We may wish to undo the past or control the future, but we're helpless to do either.  All that we can do is act in a God-honoring way in the present, in the here and now.

Sunday at church, God hit me with another tidbit on people-pleasing: people pleasing isn't godly; it isn't being a servant.  People pleasing comes from fear of man, which will prove to be a snare while those in trust in God are kept safe (Proverbs 29:25).

So people (and I'm really talking to myself here), please!  Stop people-pleasing!  God calls us to be servants; service comes in acts of love; it's not motivated by fear or guilt.

LORD, teach me to serve.  Teach me to live for You and not for people.  Teach me to love like You do; may I be motivated by Your love alone.

In it not of it

This is something that I've been struggling to discern just how to do: how to be in the world not of the world.  It's a topic that I've wrestled with before and, thanks to a great small group conversation, have returned to.

I struggle to feel relevant in the culture that I'm in.  Sadly, I probably know more about what's happening around the world than what's happening right in my own country; I'm clueless when it comes to pop culture or the political spectrum of the US.  Thus, I often struggle to feel relevant with the people that I interact with on a daily basis; I can tell you of the injustices of our world and babble on about psych stuff yet struggle with the small talk of every day.

As strange as it may be, I've never really felt a draw to many of the things that draw in my peers, never felt the pull of the party scene or the latest celebrity gossip or the most recent book/movie craze, rarely felt the pull of the American dream.  Thus, as one who desires to make an impact for Christ not only across the ocean some day but also right here where God has me right now, I struggle with how to connect with people in a culture that I feel so disconnected from.  Do I purposely go out and expose myself to worldly things for the sake of being able to relate to others?

As I wrestled with these things while I drove home last night, God reminded me of His testimony in my life thus far.  He reminded me of the ways that He's already used me in the lives of those that I have next to nothing in common with: the middle school drug dealer, the African AIDS orphan, the middle aged homeless man.  Though I had no relevant small talk to use to begin to build relationship with these individuals, God miraculously intervened to form a connection between us, and through that connection, to show His love, truth, and justice to His precious and beloved children.

It was through this epiphany that I realized the fault of my thinking:  you see, I'm a rules girl.  I like formulas that easily spell out what will happen if I do x.  I like the safety of well thought out and logical plans.  Thankfully, God isn't bound to my cognitive abilities or rules of life; His ways are much greater than mine!  Though there's a powerful witness of speaking into someone's life when you've been there, God isn't bound by sharing His truth in only this manner.  Though it makes for less awkward beginnings (I know these well =)) of relationships with both parties share a lot in common, God can work in us despite our differences.

I don't have to know the life of prostitution to show the woman on the street God's love.  I don't have to be caught up on the latest gossip to share God's truth. And I don't have to experience the injustice of racism and persecution to show the refuge God's justice.  God is much greater than my experience and my abilities.  I need only give up my desire to be in control, and with it my feelings of safety and comfort, and trust that my God can and will work in mysterious ways, in ways greater than I can even dream or imagine.  He's already done so countless times in my own life!  Praise God that He is a faithful God who is so much greater than we ever will be.

Where You lead, LORD, no matter how bizarre or how far outside of my comfort zone it may be, where You lead, I will follow.