Merry Christmas from the Who-le Crew!

Merry Christmas from the Who-le Crew!

Off to visit the Grinch in the Whoville 5k

3 puppies and a Robyn hanging out in Whoville

Da-da-da The GRINCH!

Tis the Season for Consumption

Black Friday has always been a tradition in my family.  For as long as I can remember, my mom and I would get up long before the sun to stand in lines.  Perhaps back in the day it was because we treasured a promised item worth the extra hassle, but throughout the years we've come to enjoy the routine of it: the stories of those who stand behind and before us, assisting strangers throughout the stores, speaking of family traditions and loved ones near and far.  As strange as it may seem, it become a fun way to connect with my mother as well as my community each year.

Yet this year felt different.  Truly, there were very few lines as we made our rounds; several of the stores had opened the day prior, leaving their aisles like ghost towns.  It returned to what most people see it to be: a day to engage in a plethora of shopping for knick-knacks and what's its.  And with such motivation, it quickly got old.

I think it felt different as well because my heart has changed.  In the past, I often become consumed by a good deal, buying way too much for my loved ones simply because I thought they'd like it and it was a good deal.  I've now become more cautious in my approach, buying for loved ones not everything that somehow relates to them but only what I know they will really appreciate and enjoy.

As I returned home for the day, I worked on Christmas gifts as the television played in the background.  Mind you, I haven't had television in years, so it was a bit of a culture shock as every commercial declared: shop shop shop!  After all, isn't that what the holidays are all about?

And that's when my stomach started to churn.  No, I have nothing against giving loved ones gifts: gift  giving is one of my favorite ways to express love!  Yet I feel like our culture has become obsessive.  We're overwhelmed with consumerism, with having more more more!  So much that the one day of the year that we're called to give thanks has been overwhelmed by buying more and more stuff.

And the dizzying effect of it has caused me to pause.  What really matters in this life?  What are the things that will make an eternal difference?  This season, as I reflect on all that God has given me, and His Son the greatest gift of all, how can I give not only material things but also of myself?  How can I love the least of these and outcasts in our community?  How can I love God by loving my brother?  How can I give and receive in a way that glorifies God?  How can you?

Lessons from 1st John: Truth teaching

Want to be popular?  Give the people what they want!  Tell everyone what they want to hear, and they'll love you!  That seems to be the message of our culture today.  But it isn't biblical.

Too often in our society, we've become afraid to call sin sin for fear of pushing away people from God or for being seen as politically incorrect.  But if we do not acknowledge sin in our world, then people forget that all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and we don't understand why we need Jesus to be our Savior.  Ignoring sin truly is a disservice, for it gives people false confidence that they're doing okay, that they're really a good person who messes up here or there.  But this isn't what the Bible teaches; the Bible teaches that we've sinned to the point that we literally killed God;  that is the reality of who we are.  And God, in His great mercy, sent His Son to save us by dying in our place on the cross that we may repent and have life again. that through His Spirit we are able to once again live holy lives.

1 John teaches that false teaching is easily accepted, while godly teaching isn't.  People don't like to be confronted about their sin, so standing up for our Christian beliefs is going to bring us under fire.  LORD, please give us the courage to stand for Your truth.

Lessons from 1st John: Love

While reading through 1st John 3 yesterday, I was convicted about what love truly means.  As 1 Corinthians 13 says, love is not self-seeking.

As I've struggled to know how to love a particular person in my life, I thought I was doing pretty well in this area.  I wasn't acting manipulatively that she may give me something or do something for me.  However, I realized I had a secret agenda; there is a behavior in her life that I don't agree with, and I was loving her in hopes that my love would cause her to change her behavior.  That's self-seeking.

God's love isn't forceful; rather, it is compelling.  God doesn't command us to turn from our sinful ways in order to receive our love, but we change in response to God's love for us.  Overwhelm by His great love for us, by the reality that while we still sinners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8), we give up our selfish desires that we may live for Him.

Papa, please teach me to love as You do.  Teach me to love selfishly.  Teach me to see those around me as You do that I may love like You.  Teach me to offer a love that is so overwhelming and accepting that it is transforming.  Teach me to love as You do.

Hardest Race Yet

Saturday I ran the hardest race of my life.  No, it wasn't the distance; in fact it was shorter than my short runs.  The difficulty lay in my attitude.

In the beginning of August, I signed up for another half marathon.  I was stoked, and began training hard core.  And then school started, and my schedule began backed; I was getting up at 4:30 in order to balance training, school, work, and relationship responsibilities.  Needless to say, I was tired most of the time.  When I began getting sick, I realized I was repeated what I'd done last year.  Not wanting to be ridiculously sick for 2 months again, I decided not to do the half.  This was a hard decision, especially since it couldn't be refunded.  When I learned that they offered a 5k as well, I decided to switch to that, knowing it'd be an easy race for me even if I didn't train (which I didn't).

I didn't think much about the race until I went to pick up my packet Friday.  As I stood in line for the 5k information, I starred longingly at the half line, wishing I were in that one instead.  Shame, discouragement, and guilt all hit.  Walking away from the booth, I fought back tears as thoughts flooded my mind: I felt like I'd failed, felt like I could have made it work it I really had tried; after all, I'd gotten to 11 miles before school had started.  I felt foolish for running such an easy distance.  I couldn't get excited about the race; it wasn't a fun run or for a cause I was directly connected to like other 5's I've done.  I felt disappointed that I couldn't do the half, felt like running the 5k was pointless.  Yeah, to say my attitude was bad is an understatement.

This morning it was worse.  When my fiance picked me up for the race, I tried to put on a good face, tried to convince myself that I was excited about it.  And when that didn't work...

  When I left my finance for the starting line, I again fought tears.  The first 2 miles were miserable thanks to my attitude.  I was angry and bitter and myself and other runners, quietly judging them in my head for being inferior to the halfers, then judging myself for not being able to keep up with them.  It took me 2 miles of frustration, anger, and watery eyes to try to put my thoughts elsewhere.  I tried singing, a normal running routine for me, which helped get my mind off of myself and onto God where it belongs.  At about 2.5 miles, I began to pray about it.  In my head, I knew I'd done the right thing, but in my heart I wasn't feeling it.

Here's what makes it hard: the reason that I decided to do the shorter race was because I knew it'd be healthier for me over all; there will be other halfs (and fulls!) when I'm done with school; more important than racing, I needed to take care of myself, God's baby, and the things that He's entrusted to me during this season of life.    I KNOW that, but the stubborn/perfectionist in me wants to say screw it, I can take on the world!   Basically,  I had to do the hard thing of saying no.  Yeah, that's way more challenging than running miles upon miles.  But I did it!  And I'm trying to be proud of that, trying to realize that that's really what matters right now. Trying being the key word there.  Baby steps.  =)

To God be the glory, now and forever.

Hell and other fine things

Hell is not a popular concept among... well... anyone really.  We like to deny the existence of Hell, like to make it out to be not as bad as it truly is.  We justify that we're really not that bad, that a loving God won't really punish people eternally for temporary sins.  We've deceived ourselves to believe that at our core we're good people who mess up every once in a while.

The truth is we are an awful brute.  In fact, we have gone so far as to kill God, to crucify Him on a Roman cross.

In reality, we shouldn't focus on the injustice of Hell but the injustice of grace; we should praise God for not giving us what we deserve.  Once we're truly understand the weight and depth of our sinfulness, we're able to understand the incredible gift that He's given us in Christ Jesus.  In response to this gift, we can't help but do good works, showing others the grace of God.

Yup, someone's been paying attention in theology class.  Kudos to Dr. Wittmer for the inspiration for the above.

Familiar

This morning as I read through Acts 9, the passages were familiar.  I've heard the story of Saul's conversion dozens of time, read and heard about God raising people from the dead more than I can remember.  Yet as I read the second half of this chapter, I was hit by the oddity and wonder of it: how incredible are the words on this page!  If some woman was proclaimed dead, then a traveling preacher prayed over her and said, "Tabitha, get up", and she did, why, it would be all over the news!  Everyone and their brother would know of this event.

Same with the previous story.  If there was an extremist person who was crashing planes into buildings or committing genocide in order to do away with Christianity, then suddenly became the next Billy Graham, we'd take notice.  We'd likely respond with wonder and awe, perhaps some skepticism as well.  

And yet I find myself reading unbelievable tales like this in my Bible as if they were as normal as the weather.  Oh yeah, God raised another person to life.  That's like the 12 time this week, right?  Oh, another person's life been completely transformed by the Gospel?  That's legit, but old hat; heard it a hundred times.  As we plunge into our Bibles, the stories become familiar; we forget the wonder of God's tale, loss the awe of holding in our hands the very Word of God.

LORD, please forgive us for not taking Your Word seriously.  Forgive us for allowing Your miraculous work in the world, both in ancient times and now, both globally and personally, from becoming routine.  Open our eyes again, Papa!  Give us eyes to see the world as You do.  Give us a passion for Your truth.  Send us with fire to go love the world, to see Your kingdom come and Your will be done.  Amen. 

GOAL!

 Anyone who knows me knows how driven I am.  If I create a goal, I'm going to strive for it with all of my being.  And while this has it's benefits, lately I've noticed that often I become so swept up in the destination that I miss the journey.  Worse, I become so consumed with my own plans that I miss what God has for me.  Whether it be a bike ride, a long run, finishing school, getting married, or serving in Africa, I simply want to be there, to be done with it already, to move onto the next think.  And in doing so, I miss the beauty that God's given me in today.  I miss what He has for me.  I miss opportunities to be salt and light for Him.

So I've done a dangerous thing: I've prayed that God would give me patience.  I've prayed that He would derail my plans that His will may be done.  I've prayed that He would empower me to surrender all to Him, to trust Him fully.  And while complete surrender is terrifying, giving it all to Christ is also the safest place to be, for our God does what He says He will do; our God is faithful.  True are His promises.  So LORD, I surrender all to You.  May Your will be done.  Thy Kingdom come, Thy will be done.

Who is my neighbor?

 On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. “Teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

26 “What is written in the Law?” he replied. “How do you read it?”

27 He answered, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’[a]; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[b]”

28 “You have answered correctly,” Jesus replied.“Do this and you will live.”

29 But he wanted to justify himself, so he asked Jesus, “And who is my neighbor?”

30 In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he was attacked by robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. 31 A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. 32 So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. 33 But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. 34 He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, brought him to an inn and took care of him. 35 The next day he took out two denarii[c] and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

36 “Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?”

37 The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.”

Luke 10

Last night after a scary incident with a neighbor, my eyes were opened to the truth of this tale.  Again, God humbled me.  Far too many times I'd passed by this neighbor, this child of the King of kings, my sister in Christ, without a word, without a smile, without even a passing glance.  Too many times I treated her as part of the background, going on with my busy life as if she didn't exist, as if she didn't matter.  When I was awoken to a frightening reality, I became very aware of her existence, of her realness.  And God humbled me.  He opened my eyes to see her as He does, His beloved daughter in need of His justice.  

And I wept for her.  I wept for her and for the others whom society (and I) simply walk right on by, for the one's whose cries of pain, whose shouts for justice, truth, and love, are responded to with a closing window.  

LORD, forgive us for ignoring Your children.  Forgive us for becoming so wound up in our agendas that we become blind to the people in our lives.  Forgive us for pridefully thinking of ourselves as better than, of our time too important for them.  Forgive us for ignoring the need of our brother and sister.  Forgive us for not loving as You love.  For God so loved the world that He sent His only Son... Papa, teach us to love like that!

He's got a plan

Camp a few weeks ago was challenging.  After an exhausting Wednesday, I was spending the evening talking with one of the campers about his struggle to listen to his counselors and what he thought we should do about that when I got a phone call from another counselor who informed me that somehow their devotions had turned to the topic of the rapture and now all of her girls were terrified that Jesus would come back that night and they would never see their families again.  Eish.  Uh... be right there?

I finished up with the camper I was with, then headed to the cabin.  I pulled the counselor out to get a better grasp on the situation.

"Okay, let's take a minute to pray about this, because honestly, I have no idea what to do here."

We prayed for words and wisdom, for God to move in these girls' hearts.  Then we went back into the cabin.

We asked the girls to gather on their beds, then I asked then what had happened.

"We were talking about Jesus coming back and stuff, and now we don't wanna sleep.  What if we never see our moms and dads again?"

I thought for a moment, then said, "Girls, you know that song we sing in rally, the one about God having a plan?"

"Yeah"

"Well, does that song say God has a plan for us?"

"Yeah."

"And do you think God's plans are good or bad?"

"Good?"

"Do you think we can trust God?"

"Yeah!"

The conversation continued; we spoke of how God has a plan for every one of us, of how He knows all of the hairs on our heads, of how He knows what's best for Him, of how His plans are greater than we can even imagine.  And before I knew it, the once scared and crying girls were giggling as grins crossed their face; the conversation ended with mention of flying with their dogs in Heaven someday,taking them up to play with Jesus.  And I felt an easy smile cross my face as well.  =)

As I left their cabin exhausted, I was humbled by God had chosen to use me that week, humbled by how He had empowered me to do things far beyond my own strength.  More so, I was humbled by His perfect plan for me: of how He'd yet again allowed me to serve at a place that I love, showing His kids how much He loves them.  Of His perfect plan of jobs and internships, of time overseas and close to home, of family changing and growing, of deep love, of healing, of challenges, of growth, of life-changing relationships, of schooling, of truth, of passion, of wonders greater than I can even imagine.  And again that easy smile spread across my face.  Join me in praising God for His perfect plan!

Calling all warriors

Please pray for Winding Creek camp as we welcome about 100 campers to NaCl Light Camp this week. Please pray that the counselors, staff, and campers would humbly seek God's love, truth, and justice. Pray that He would be our strength as we seek to reach the world for His name sake. Pray that He would empower us that we might empower others. Thanks!

A New Normal

As wedding plans continue, Tuck and I's next big step is trying to figure out catering.  In this process, we've been less than impressed with the vegetarian options that are out there, and surprisingly, this has been a bigger issue for Tuck (the carnivore in the relationship =)) then it has been for me.  A recent conversation on this issue went something like this:

S: "Tuck, it's okay; I can just eat the side dishes."

T: "No.  You're not going to have food you can't eat at your own wedding.  We'll find a veggie option."

S: "Babe, I'm used to it though; it's not a big deal."

T: "Just because you're used to it doesn't mean it's right."

Mmmm, truth right there.  Just because this is how life's always been, doesn't mean it's right, nor does it mean it has to continue that way.  Just because I've accepted a lifestyle as normal, doesn't mean it's just.  Yeah, I'm talking about more than just meat at this point.  =)  I'm continually amazed by God's perfect provision, by the gift of Tuck's compassion and protection, and with how God continues to patiently teach me.  And I'm excited to live a life in love, truth, and justice, if not in this world, then someday.  =)  To God be the glory, now and forever!

Have a blessed week!

If he is a demon, he must be a good one, for look at the beautiful place he's brought me.

"If he is a demon, he must be a good one, for look at the beautiful place he's brought me."

When I heard this quote while watching a movie the other day, it struck me: such a strange thought, associating demons with goodness!  And as I pondered the thought, I realized how often we believe this.  So often we give into the temptations of this world, we pursue the things that God has warned against, we believe this lie: "How could this thing be harmful when it's led me to such delight?  How could it bring devastation when it feels so good, so right?  How could a demon led me to such a beautiful place?"  The father of lies deceives his; the crafty one knows that, were we to see the results of our choices that God has forbidden, we would flee from them!  We would run hard away and straight into the arms of Jesus!  He knows, and so he deceives us into believing that the deadly brings life: surely premarital sex will enhance your future marriage; after all, you'll be more experienced.  Surely stealing from the company will give you the head start that you need; every fortune starts somewhere.  Surely taking your anger out on that driver will help you; after all, catharsis is good for you.  Satan is up to his same ol' tricks, promising the goodness of God only to deliver death.  It's what he's done since the Garden.

Human again

The servants turned household items in Beauty and the Beast sing of their desires to be human again.  Lumiere, Mrs. Pots, Cogsworth, and the others declare joy at the thought of being human again: of cooking again, falling in love, going on holiday, and simply taking pride in their human form.  They long because they remember; they know full well what their human state was long before the curse came upon their castle, know full well what they were created to be.

At times, I envy them.  No, I don't long to be a broom or clock or candlestick.  I envy their knowledge of what they were created to be.  You see, I too long to be human again, long to be the creature that God once created me to, long to be who I was before the curse came upon this castle that we call earth.  I long to know the fullness of that humanity; I want to know what it's like to have my will perfectly align with God's will, to walk with Him, to know no sickness, pain, or death.  I long for a world that perfectly glorifies its Maker. I long to be human again. And I rejoice because, like those in the Beast's castle, I know that the day where I get to experience humanity in its fullness is close at hand.  We thank God for that!  We praise Him for His perfect plan of redemption.  We thank Him for His promise to restore us that we may be human again.  

Striving 2.0

Long before I found my love of running, I found my love for exploring.  As a child, it was normal to find me venturing through the neighboring woods, seeking new discovers.  Now when I run, I usually have a destination or goal in mind; when I ran through the beautiful landscape of the Half, I didn't stop to smell the roses; even during my casual run this morning I didn't take time to venture through the trees.  The goals of my endeavor have changed.  And while their is a joy and goodness in the vigor of a good run, there's also a loss.  As I push myself to travel further, I miss the details of the gentle beauty of God's creation around me.

As I attended the funeral of a beautiful young girl this afternoon, I was reminded that this is often true of life.  As I grow older and embrace adulthood, my goals have changed.  Instead of the childhood goals of daily play, my eyes are fixed on the realities of being a responsible adult and the things I must take on to accomplish my dreams.  I rush through life striving for the prize that lies just ahead.  And while their is good and joy in this, there is also a loss.  You see, sometimes I become so enthralled with my own plans, my own hope for the future, that I miss the beauty of the life God has for me now.  While I notice a glimpse of it in passing, I don't see the intricate beauty of the things that He's given me today.  To do that, I must make the conscious choice to stop and pray, asking my Papa what He has for me today.  Asking Him to continue to fill my head with dreams greater than I could ever image, yet give me the wisdom in knowing what I must pursue today.  Asking Him to give me the wisdom to prepare for tomorrow as well as to fully embrace the gifts and  opportunities His given me today.  Asking Him to teach me to surrender all to Him, to let go of my to-do list that He may reign fully in my life.

To God be the glory, now and forever!

First Things First

Beautiful Things

Striving

I find it ironic that I began this post over a month ago and, given the busyness of my life, am just returning to it now.  =)

A wise friend of mine once said, "Sharon, you burnout regularly.  More so, you don't see this as a problem."

Yup, I'm one of those people who plans for 36 hour days and wonder why I run out of time at the end of the day, one of those people who likes to take on the world, one of those people who struggles to say no or wait to things.  And like my friend said, this striving causes me to burnout often.  She pointed out the vicious cycle, hey: I go go go until I drop from exhaustion (often quite literally), hate all of my responsibilities and want to quit everything for a little bit, neglect my commitments for a bit, then vow to take on a more balanced life only finding myself saying yes to everything.  I can be perseverant and stubborn and determined and dependable to get things done.  I have a passion for life and am goal driven.  And while these things in and of themselves are not bad, I've discovered that they become harmful when done out of a lack of trust in God.

Yes, that's what I've discovered that my striving really boils down to: a lack of trust in God.  God has given me big and beautiful dreams for my life, dreams I can't wait to take hold of!  And in my impatience, I've neglected God's timing.  More so, I've doubted His timing.  Rather than enjoy the gifts of the journey that He has for me today, I gluttonously want it all at once.  I try to sprint the marathon.

Additionally, I fail to trust Him.  I fear that if I don't take matters into my own hands and ensure that they happen- if I don't schedule my classes to ensure that I graduate next year, if I don't work to ensure that I can provide for myself, if I don't pursue ten opportunities now, if I don't invest in a multitude of relationships- then I will loose these things.  Rather than trust God to provide for myself, I try to do it on my own.

And I fail.  Miserably I fail.  Rather than gaining all that I've sought, I end up with only exhaustion and illness. I end up with losses.  I end up with disappointment and frustration.  I end feeling defeated.

And as I recover from yet another burn out, slowly I'm reminded of that precious word: surrender.  Slowly I embrace the truth that God's ways are better than mine, that He knows better than I.  Slowly I learn to let go.  Slowly I learn to slow down.

Instead of striving, I'm learning to pray: God, what is your will for this day?  What are Your goals and dreams for my life?  What do You have for me?  I'm learning to trust, learning to embrace grace.  Yes, I still have the big, beautiful dreams that God's given me, yet now I'm learning to seek His timing for these dreams. Learning that it's okay if I have to continue schooling longer than I'd hoped, learning that I can trust Him with my relationships,  learning to say no to what God doesn't have for me and wait to that which He has said not yet, learning that I can trust Him to provide exactly what I need, learning to immerse myself in His grace and patience, learning that His way is beautiful.  I praise Him for that!

The Need For Speed

The other day while I was driving, I looked down at my odometer and discovered that I was traveling ten miles over the speed limit.  Feeling slightly convicted yet still feeling hurried, I reduced by speed by five miles.  "There", I thought, "That's better.  At least I'm not going over the speed limit by quite so much." Driving along and glancing down once more at the odometer, I again felt convicted.  Though I'd slowed my speed, I was still technically breaking the law.  As the conviction continued, I slowed my speed to that listed on the road signs.  As I continued my drive, I wrestled with obeying my conscious to adhere to the law and with my desire to get to my destination quicker, wrestled with being obedient and wanting to do things my way.  I wanted to justify my actions: everyone else is passing me, those who have taught me to drive informed me that speeding was acceptable as long as I didn't exceed five miles over, five or ten miles over really isn't that big of a deal, surely getting to my destination on time is more important than staying under a certain speed, etc etc.  

I feel like this is our response to sin in general.  We justify it; we look at what the culture tells us is acceptable rather than what God has taught us; we push the line, though just a little.  We prioritize our agenda over what God has commanded.  And so we begin the slow progression into sin, at first only exceeding it by five miles, then ten, until suddenly we find ourselves racing out of control, the thing we once drove now driving us.

Steak

Sitting in class the other day, my professor commented on the relationship between sin and being in the presence of God.  Essentially, he stated that the more and more we experience God's presence, the less and less appeal sin has until it eventually becomes repulsive to us.  He liked it to putting a steak, a food considered a delicacy by many, in front of a vegan.  The vegan is simply disgusted/appalled by the meat in front of him or her.

Being a vegetarian for a good chunk of my life, the analogy was not lost on me.  Even his mention of steak brought a scowl to my face, proving his point.  Realizing how disgusted I felt simply by the thought of eating this meat, I asked myself why I didn't feel that same repulsion toward sin.  Why don't I feel sickened by the thought of disobeying God?  Why don't I flee from the very thought of turning from His way?  Why do I embrace such a abhorrent act?

Father, forgive me for forfeiting Your plan for my pleasure.  Forgive me for not trusting You.  Forgive me for arrogantly believing my way is better than Yours.  Teach me to obey completely.  Where You lead, I will follow.

Planning

Literally the day after Tuck and I got engaged, people started asking about wedding plans.  Despite peer pressure, we took a week to simply enjoy being engaged, and since have jumped right into planning our big day.  =)

While I'm not terribly concerned with a lot of the little details, I do care about the who that's involved in our wedding.  As we've agreed on who will be involved, I've taken some time to write each of them a note formally asking them to be a part of our big day.  And as we planned for people and I wrote these notes, I realized something:

God's plans are perfect (and I'm stinking blessed!).  While life hasn't always been kittens and rainbows, God's been there every step of the way.  When I faced difficult times, He has provided me with the exact people that I needed.  When certain people in my life disappointed me, God provided others to fill in the gaps, assuring that I always had exactly what I need.  I am incredibly blessed!  Praise God for that!

LORD, as You lead me on this crazy journey of marriage, I will follow You.  Papa, I pray that You would lead Tucker and I as we plan our wedding and our lives together.  May You be glorified in all that we do.

Forever and Always. And then some.

A week ago, May 17th, a life changing event occurred that I will never forget.  Mr. Wonderful asked me to be his bride.  =)  Here's how it happened.

After a busy week of working late every night, this kid was excited to spend a relaxing evening with sir Tucker J.  I headed to his house where he was making dinner.  He ate quickly and, after he'd finished, proclaimed, "I need to grab a few things before we go" and ran downstairs.  I sat finishing my dinner, a bit confused.  When he returned upstairs, I asked him where we were going.  When my question was met with a sly smile, I said, "Guess it's a surprise then."

We drove to the beach, the place that Tuck had first asked me to be his girlfriend.  At this point, I was a bit suspicious as are evenings together are a bit more chill than this and, well, it felt like he was recreating our first date.  We walked along the shore making small talk, just as we had done 10 months prior.  As we walked, his friend Jason cried out from atop on of the stairs leading to a beach house, "Tucker!  Hey!  What are you guys doing here?"

"We should go say hey to them quick."

Now honestly, this threw me off a bit, as Tucker knows me better than to propose in front of a lot of people.  When we reached the top of the steps, however, Jason had disappeared (which I honestly didn't realize until Tuck told me Saturday morning; yeah, I was in a bit of shock =)).

We we reached the top of the stair, we were greeted by a bottle of wine, the same kind that I had gotten Tuck for his birthday and that we drank on Valentine's day, tiramisu, my favorite dessert, sitting on a plate that Tuck had painted inside jokes on at Naked Plates, a frequent date location for us, and a sketch artist.

Now, back story on the sketch artist a bit.  So, back before Tucker and I were dating, we planned on hitting up a jazz concert downtown only to discover that it's last showing was the week before.  Instead, I decided to show him the high life of the city; you know, the giant tire swing, button, that kind of thing  ;-)  We ended our tour back at Rosa Parks where we sat for a few hours simply talking about life.  As we sat talking, a man approached us, introduced himself as a portrait artist, and asked if he could draw us. I was a bit hesitant about it, and Tuck was all for it, so we let him draw us.  As he drew, we got to hear a bit about he and his girlfriend's (who later join us) life stories.  Toward the end of the conversation, I felt in my gut that I should ask if we could pray for them.  Feeling a bit silly, though, I didn't mention anything.  Tuck, on the other hand, after paying for the drawing, asked if we could pray for them quick (granted, I'd said nothing to Tucker about my prompting to pray).  They quickly agreed, and so he prayed.  They were ecstatic afterward, and thanked us for the best prayer they'd every heard.  I remember returning home that night and telling my roommate, "Screw dating this guy!  I want to do ministry with him!"

Flash back to Friday.  So we're greeted by thoughtful wine, tiramisu, hand crafted plate, and sketch artist.  Tuck pulls his phone and speakers out of his bag and starts playing some of our favorite tunes.  At this point, I'm suspicious but trying not to let myself jump to conclusions.  We make small talk with the artist as he draws, reminiscing about our relationship and what God has taught us over the past year, really the perfect set up.  =)  The artist shows us his drawing evidencing the evening, sets it aside, then rummages around in his bag as Tuck and I get lost in conversation.  When I looked back on the easel, I looked like a black frame had been placed on it, though I honestly couldn't remember if it was already there or not.

Then in a swift move, the artist flipped the easel around and booked it out of there.  I started to tremble as I saw what was on it: a drawing of Tuck proposing to me on the beach.  As I was distracted by the drawing, Tuck had slide out of his chair and onto one knee.  He held an open ring box that contained a ring that he'd made out of twisty ties (when we'd talked about rings earlier, I told Tucker that I didn't care about the ring; he could propose to me with a twisty tie and I would say yes and treasure it forever) and told me, "So, the real reason that we're here tonight is for me to say Sal jy my die eer van my vrou, which in English means will you do me the honor of being my wife?"

The details get a bit fuzzy for me here.  At some point in all of this, he slipped the twisty tie ring onto my finger.  I stood up and tackled him in a hug and whispered, "Always babe".  He stood up with me still in his arms, a grin the size of Africa on his face, slipped his hand in his pocket, and said something along the lines of, "Good, but I'm not that cheap" as he slipped the real ring on my finger.  =)

We spent quite literally all day Saturday going around to loved ones and announcing our news to them.  Here are a few of my favorite stories:

We tried to get a hold of my friend, Shiffra, but couldn't, so I left her a message asking if I could bring my finance along when we met yes.  She promptly called me back looking for an explanation.

We met one of my roommates, Mary Jo, at work where I announced to her that she was going to have another brother (cause the Clancy Clan is full of sisters =)).  It took her a bit to understand the news, but then was super excited for us.

We met my other roommate, Amy/Smelly, at our house.  I walked in the house initially without Tucker and announced to her that my fiance is a liar (she had asked him earlier if he was going to propose that Friday and he had told her no).  After it sunk in, she gave him a good amount of grief for lying to her.

We headed to the race track to show his folks the ring (they already knew about it) and to tell his grandparents.  They couldn't have been more thrilled.

We headed to my grandparents house, where I made the mistake of telling the about the engagement by saying they were going to have another grandson.  At first, my grandpa just kind of hung his head until I explained, "No grandpa!  It's Tucker!  We're going to get married!"  Haha! Dear grandpa, thanks for thinking I'm pregnant; my name is not Mary.

While we were there, my sister, whom I've been trying to get a hold of for months, called.  Naturally I took the phone, and when in our small talk she asked about grandma, I handed the phone to my grandmother.  While they were making small talk, my grandma nonchalantly mentioned, "And you know that your sister's getting married, right?" *facepalm* I could hear Darcy yelling on the other line: "What?  Give her the phone! Give Sharon the phone!"

"Well Darce, now you know why I called." =)

We went to Verald and Robyn's house to say hey.  While making small talk with them, I playfully kept punching Verald in the arm, our usual display of sibling love.  After a bit, I said, "Well, we just wanted to stop in and say hey and try out the new weaponry."  It took them both a moment to understand, then Verald grabbed my hand and they both gasped and congratulated us.

We went to my mom's house and waiting for Phil and Hannah to drop off my nephew.  While they were there, I kept talking to Ezra and referring to Tucker as his uncle.

"Tank, throw the ball to UNCLE Tucker.  Tank, jump to UNLCE Tucker."

Phil caught on, but Hannah didn't quite, so finally I took off my ring, handed it to my nephew, and said, "Ezra, show momma what auntie has."

He gleefully trotted over to her.  "What do you haaahhh!"  =)

We had a bonfire to tell a bunch of my friends.  Being her first time there, Breanna got a bit lost, so she called me and I stood down the drive until she pulled in.  As soon as she drove past me she yelled, "Shar- WHAT IS ON YOUR HAND?" Yup, she's observant.  =)

Despite being their Friday and telling everyone on Saturday, it still didn't really sink in until we were singing in church Sunday morning.  As we stood singing, I looked over at Tuck and really began to realize that this is the man that I get to marry.  A tear rolled down my check as I reflected on now only my relationship with him, but also how much God has grown me and the truths that He has taught me through Tuck.  I stood amazed at how much He has grown and matured me over the past two years, how perfect His plan is for me, how much higher His ways are than mine.  Never in a million years could I have imagined the growth that He has done in my life or that I would be so blessed by Tucker.  Never could I have imagined the joy, peace, love, and truth that I have found.  Praising God for His perfect planning and for leading me to places greater than I could ever dream or imagine!  Praising Him that I get to marry someone far better than the man of my dreams, someone who constantly pushes me closer and closer to God.  To God be the glory now and forever!

And in case that isn't enough words for you, here are a few photos that Paul Rozeboom took after the big event last Friday.