This was a huge lesson that permeated much of my time in South Africa. Trust and obey. So many of the situations that I was in this was all that I could do. Trust and obey. It was evident that I wasn't in control here, that I didn't understand the plan that was going on. But God did. And that's all that mattered. He'd knew the outcome, and that was all the security that I needed. Trust and obey.
In the rush of live Stateside again, it's easy to forget this. In a culture that so presses independence, it's easy to become independent of others, even independent of God. This doesn't work, my friends. As I struggle (still) with adjusting back to life here, a dear friend reminded me of something. I need to trust God. Trust and obey. In SA, it was easy to trust Him with life and death matters; really I had no choice. But back in the States, I've fallen (hard) into pride. Unconsciously, I've taken the reigns from God on "little" things, things that I could handle on my own. Wrong! Slowly, I'm learning to give these things back to God, to trust that He cares about the small stuff as well as the big, and that in the end He is God who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus (Phil 1:6).
Trust and obey.
Where you lead me, LORD, I will follow.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
Wisdom
This is something that I'm lacking at the moment, and would greatly appreciate prayers for.
My summer (which is a bit strange to think about at the snow flies outside my window) is completely up in the air. All that plans that I had failed/are no longer. I'm trying to trust God, asking Him to lead and guide me for His name sake as to what to do with my summer. I know I've got some time, but at the same time I feel a sense of urgency as I feel like I need to make commitments soon. Here are a few of the options that I'm pondering:
Chip, a faculty member at CU, has graciously offered to let me join the Zambia team that he's leading. This would be at the end of June.
Rob, a family friend, and his family are currently working in orphanages in Zambia. He has offered to let me join them for a while this summer to get a taste of what working in an orphanage would be like.
I'd like to be able to help out at my camp again this summer. It'd only be a week of my summer (some time in July, I think). I really enjoyed running Odyssey and games and the CITs last summer.
I'm considering returning to South Africa. I miss my family and kiddos over there like no one's business! Nikki and Reagan have told me that I am welcome anytime, and I know that they can always use more help.
I think it may be wise to do something psych related to get a better feel for the field here (though I may or may not end up here long term).
Also throwing around the possibility of working at another camp, perhaps one focused on kids with special needs.
I'm also considering the reality that I have bills that need to be payed, and though I'd love to return to Africa or camp or volunteer somewhere this summer, I want to be responsible as well.
Please pray for wisdom. Pray that God shows me His will, that I pursue what He wants rather than what I want. Pray that He shows me His will not only for this summer, but also for today, for right now, for my life.
May God bless you!
My summer (which is a bit strange to think about at the snow flies outside my window) is completely up in the air. All that plans that I had failed/are no longer. I'm trying to trust God, asking Him to lead and guide me for His name sake as to what to do with my summer. I know I've got some time, but at the same time I feel a sense of urgency as I feel like I need to make commitments soon. Here are a few of the options that I'm pondering:
Chip, a faculty member at CU, has graciously offered to let me join the Zambia team that he's leading. This would be at the end of June.
Rob, a family friend, and his family are currently working in orphanages in Zambia. He has offered to let me join them for a while this summer to get a taste of what working in an orphanage would be like.
I'd like to be able to help out at my camp again this summer. It'd only be a week of my summer (some time in July, I think). I really enjoyed running Odyssey and games and the CITs last summer.
I'm considering returning to South Africa. I miss my family and kiddos over there like no one's business! Nikki and Reagan have told me that I am welcome anytime, and I know that they can always use more help.
I think it may be wise to do something psych related to get a better feel for the field here (though I may or may not end up here long term).
Also throwing around the possibility of working at another camp, perhaps one focused on kids with special needs.
I'm also considering the reality that I have bills that need to be payed, and though I'd love to return to Africa or camp or volunteer somewhere this summer, I want to be responsible as well.
Please pray for wisdom. Pray that God shows me His will, that I pursue what He wants rather than what I want. Pray that He shows me His will not only for this summer, but also for today, for right now, for my life.
May God bless you!
Monday, December 7, 2009
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.
"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." Job 1:21
Job's words best describe where I'm at right now. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised. The LORD gives, the LORD takes away. Still I will praise Him. His character remains the same. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away.
This past week has been rough. God's really been challenging me. Long story short, the South Africa team from Cornerstone is off. There was a lot to bring us to this decision: safety concerns, communication issues, costs, just to name a few. But most importantly, God said don't go. For the past week I've been wrestling with this. Logically, there's a laundry list of reasons why we shouldn't go. But God is confined by our logic. His thinking is higher than ours could ever be. My going to South Africa this past semester didn't make logical sense either, but that was His plan. And His plan for this spring is for the CU team not to go. I have no idea why this is, but I know in my heart that this is what God wants. Though I don't like this reality and am disappointed, I have peace. This is what God has put on my heart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.
Oh to have the faith of Job! To lose everything, yet still praise God. I'm wrestling this with the South Africa team. I'm wrestling with this with my involvement with Africa in general. I don't know if God is asking me to, but I know that He's asking me if I'd be willing: willing to give up my love for and dreams of Africa if He calls me to do so. I can't see how this would make sense, but am I willing to do so if He asks me with? I wish I could give an affirmative yes, but to be honest it's something that I'll have to wrestle with for a while. I'd love for your prayers in this. Please pray that I learn to surrender every single part of myself to God, all of my hopes and dreams and being. Praying that nothing in this world could cause me to cease to praise His name. Pray that I can have faith like Job. Pray that God leads and guides me for His name sake. Pray that He becomes my only desire.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.
Job's words best describe where I'm at right now. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised. The LORD gives, the LORD takes away. Still I will praise Him. His character remains the same. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away.
This past week has been rough. God's really been challenging me. Long story short, the South Africa team from Cornerstone is off. There was a lot to bring us to this decision: safety concerns, communication issues, costs, just to name a few. But most importantly, God said don't go. For the past week I've been wrestling with this. Logically, there's a laundry list of reasons why we shouldn't go. But God is confined by our logic. His thinking is higher than ours could ever be. My going to South Africa this past semester didn't make logical sense either, but that was His plan. And His plan for this spring is for the CU team not to go. I have no idea why this is, but I know in my heart that this is what God wants. Though I don't like this reality and am disappointed, I have peace. This is what God has put on my heart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.
Oh to have the faith of Job! To lose everything, yet still praise God. I'm wrestling this with the South Africa team. I'm wrestling with this with my involvement with Africa in general. I don't know if God is asking me to, but I know that He's asking me if I'd be willing: willing to give up my love for and dreams of Africa if He calls me to do so. I can't see how this would make sense, but am I willing to do so if He asks me with? I wish I could give an affirmative yes, but to be honest it's something that I'll have to wrestle with for a while. I'd love for your prayers in this. Please pray that I learn to surrender every single part of myself to God, all of my hopes and dreams and being. Praying that nothing in this world could cause me to cease to praise His name. Pray that I can have faith like Job. Pray that God leads and guides me for His name sake. Pray that He becomes my only desire.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.
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