The Trade Off

Idealistic

I'll admit it: I'm idealistic.  I'm a dreamer.  I tend to see the potential in people in situations, tend to hope for more.

Today, I had a conversation with my pastor about my hopes and dreams for our church and for the Church. Apparently I kept referring to myself as idealistic, kept qualifying my ideas as quixotic to shield myself from the reality check that he was going to give me.  Except the reality check didn't come.  Instead, he pointed out that people must tell me that I'm idealistic a lot since I kept labeling myself as such.

As our conversation continued, I realized something.  Sure, others may view me as idealistic, but you know what?  I serve a God for whom nothing is impossible (Luke 1:37).  Because I worship a God who is able to do immeasurably more than all that I could ever ask or imagine (Ephesians 3:20-21), I'm going to keep my visionary spirit; I'm going to keep pursuing the direction that God leads me; I'm going to keep following Him into the impossible for the glory of my God.

Surrender

I'm not big into New Year's resolutions and such.  However, this year my mentor challenged me to think of one word to describe my hopes for this year.  The word I landed on?  Surrender?

I have no idea what this year will hold, no idea what God has in store for me.  And I'm excited to see His plan unfold!  I'm excited to learn what He has for me.  Thus, my goal for 2013 is to surrender it completely to my Papa.  I want to wake up each morning asking God what has for me, want to surrender plans big and small to Him, want to trust Him with every moment of my life, want to enjoy sweet surrender.

Where You lead, LORD, I will follow.  I surrender all to You.

Welcome

Priorities

²⁵ Large crowds were traveling with Jesus, and turning to them he said: ²⁶ “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. ²⁷ And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.

²⁸ “Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Will he not first sit down and estimate the cost to see if he has enough money to complete it? ²⁹ For if he lays the foundation and is not able to finish it, everyone who sees it will ridicule him, ³⁰ saying, ‘This fellow began to build and was not able to finish.’

³¹ “Or suppose a king is about to go to war against another king. Will he not first sit down and consider whether he is able with ten thousand men to oppose the one coming against him with twenty thousand? ³² If he is not able, he will send a delegation while the other is still a long way off and will ask for terms of peace. ³³ In the same way, any of you who does not give up everything he has cannot be my disciple.

³⁴ “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? ³⁵ It is fit neither for the soil nor for the manure pile; it is thrown out.

“He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”

Luke 14

Running redeemed

After a nasty illness keeping me sick for a few months and a crazy schedule keeping me from a favorite hobby, I've finally been able to get back into the running routine.  And God, in His goodness, continues to teach me through this silly little hobby.

As I ran yesterday, I realized that for most of my life I've been a runner.  I've run from fear and shame and consequences and mistakes and conflict and pain.  Yet in yesterday's run, I realized that God has redeemed my running.  I no longer run from these things.  Rather, I run to showcase the strength that God has given me.  I run to defy limits, to do that which I once deemed impossible.  I run as a movement of worship, hymns of praise leaving my mouth with each stride.  I run with the purpose of prayer, speaking to my Papa about the people and places that I pass, asking that His will would be done.

What a mighty God we serve, friends!  I pray that He would bring redemption into your lives as He has mine.  I pray that He will use every aspect of your life to bring glory, honor, and praise to Himself.  May He be glorified this day!

My cup runnth over

This morning I had a rare moment of stillness and silence, a moment where my mind was free to reflect on the past year and hope for the year to come.  And in my reflections, I'm reminded yet again of how incredibly blessed I am.

This year, God has blessed me with an overwhelming amount of His truth.  He has reassured me of my identity in Him, taught me how He sees me, opened my eyes to His plan for the world and for my life, freed me from lies and shame.  I am blessed.

This year, God has surrounded me with incredible roommates; He's allowed me to live with three amazing women who speak truth into my life, encourage me, and fill me with laughter.  I'm so grateful that I live with people who will pray for me and who come to me with their requests.  I'm thankful for the conversations that we're able to have with one another about what God is doing in our lives, thankful for the way we're able to speak truth in love and encourage each other, thankful that we're able to wrestle through questions together.  I'm thankful that I can talk to them about anything, big or small.  I'm thankful for the love that with have for and the grace we have with each other.  I'm thankful for their support.  I love how much they make me laugh!  I love that our house is constantly filled with giggles and giddyness, filled with joy.  I love inside jokes that we have and the nicknames that we've given each other, love our crazy singing and silly voices.  I love the family roles we've given each other and how, as cliche as it sounds, they feel like family to me.  I am blessed.

This year, God has increased my gratitude for my family.  His has brought redemption and restoration to our ever growing family.  He has blessed me with the opportunity to spend quality time with my family, blessed me with the reality that we can be not only family but also friends.  He has blessed me with greater involvement in their lives and they in mine.  He has blessed us with evenings of laughter and time together.  He has blessed us with healing and truth.  I am blessed.

This year, God has blessed me with a godly man in my life.  He has use His as yet another vessel to speak truth, love, and grace in my life.  I'm grateful for a man who daily pushes me closer to God via his prayers, words, and actions.  I'm grateful for a man who seeks God above all else.  And I'm thankful for God's perfect plan in our relationship, for the crazy twists and turn that have brought and continue to bring us together.  I am blessed.

This year, I am thankful for the mentors God has blessed me with.  I feel incredibly blessed to have not one but several individuals who are willing to invest in my life.  I'm grateful for individuals who push me closer to God, give me their time, are patient and gracious with me, and lead me.  I am blessed.

This year, God has blessed me with sweet friendship.  He's opened my eyes to the jewel that it is to have so many people whom I've grown up with and still call friend, the people who, though life has brought us far from each other, remain close to each other in heart; friends who still seek to give me 5 minutes here and there or a shared cup of coffee as our schedules allow, friends whose connection runs deep as we seek God together and share all that He's doing and teaching us, friends who have stuck with me through thick and thin.  I am blessed.

This year, God has given me the opportunity to continue my education.  I feel incredibly blessed simply by the fact that God has given me a mind that works and allows me to learn.  I feel privileged to be able to obtain not only a bachelor's degree but also a master's degree.  Further, I feel amazingly privileged to be able to attend a university where God is center, a place where I get to study the Bible and learn more about God, a place where my professors care not only about my academics but also about my life goals and the plans that God has for me, a place where my professors will pray for me and understand that my life consists of much more than just school, a place where I'm encouraged by my classmates and able to discuss the major subjects of life with my peers, a place where much more than just my professional life is invested in.  I am blessed.

This year, God has blessed me with incredible opportunities professionally.  He gave me the gift of an open summer which allowed me to return to the camp I love and be amazed by His power and might; in returning to a place that feels like home, He allowed me to see the spiritual growth of so many that He's allowed me to watch grow up over the years; God's given me the privilege of watching a handful of young people who I love become amazing leaders.  He's allowed me to be used to speak power and truth into their lives.  In His perfect provision, God allowed me to watch over a Swedish princess for a few months.  He allowed me to show His love to this family, gave me the international experience I hoped for while staying close to home, taught me what it means to passionately pray for those who don't know Him, and to live out my faith.  He taught me the value of the little things, taught me that it's the little things that make the big difference.  He allowed me to get paid to do my passion: minister to children.  He allowed me serve the children of my church, to listen to them, to be amazed and challenged by the strength of their faith.  He even allowed me to teach them!  He allowed me to be someone who they could come to with their questions and praises.  He placed into my hands their physical and spiritual well being for a few hours each week.  Further, He allowed them to teach me about God's love and might, His mercy and favor.  Through them, I learned that God is not inhibited by age but can use anyone, even a child.  And God continued to blessed me professionally!  Recently, He allowed me to pursue a position that combines three of my passions: refugees, mentoring, and youth.  He has placed me in a job that allows me to serve the international community while still close to family and school, to invest in the lives of young people from all places of the world.  He's broken my heart for the atrocities of the world, given me a fire for His justice, taught me that He has empowered me to do things greater than I can even imagine.  He has utilized me to bring healing and hope.  He has given me a hunger to know, to learn, to seek His face and His will.  I am blessed.

This year, God has given me the freedom to worship Him with a community of other Christians.  He has given me a church that grows and challenges me, pushing me closer to Him.  He's given me a handful of women who invest in my life and show me what it means to be a strong, godly woman.  He's given me a small group with which I can share not only Christ but my very life.  He has taught me more than a simply webpage can hold through this group.  He has taught me about community and His intentions for the Church through their example.  He's taught me acceptance and communication and to stand up for myself.  He has taught me about love and grace.  I am blessed.

Mostly, this year God has revealed to me how great the gift of Christ truly is in my life.  He has shown me my own brokenness and sinfulness, my disgrace.  He's shown me His redemption and the power of Jesus Christ.  He has shown me the sacrifice that He has made because of His great love for me.  He has given me new life.  He has shown me the power, might, mercy, love, grace, joy, faithfulness, sovereignty, strength, wisdom, peace, kindness, goodness, gentleness, patience, and perfection that define His character.  He's taught me to trust Him more than I trust myself, taught me that His way is perfect and that His plan for my life is ever surprising and greater than I can even imagine.  He has taught me of His unconditional love and grace, of His heart for me.  I am so incredibly, amazingly, unbelievably blessed!

This season as I reflect, I realize that my cup runnth over with blessing.  I am blessed more than words can say!  And I thank God for that!  Words simply cannot adequately express my gratitude.

And so this Christmas season, I pray that God would open your eyes to His abundant blessing.  I pray that He will slam in your face His perfect provision and plan.  I pray that you would know how high and deep and wide and long His love is for YOU.  I pray that you would come to know Christ abundantly.  I pray that you would seek Him above all else.  I pray that you would come to know that goodness of our LORD and King.  Have a very merry Christmas everyone!