Wisdom

This is something that I'm lacking at the moment, and would greatly appreciate prayers for.

My summer (which is a bit strange to think about at the snow flies outside my window) is completely up in the air. All that plans that I had failed/are no longer. I'm trying to trust God, asking Him to lead and guide me for His name sake as to what to do with my summer. I know I've got some time, but at the same time I feel a sense of urgency as I feel like I need to make commitments soon. Here are a few of the options that I'm pondering:

Chip, a faculty member at CU, has graciously offered to let me join the Zambia team that he's leading. This would be at the end of June.

Rob, a family friend, and his family are currently working in orphanages in Zambia. He has offered to let me join them for a while this summer to get a taste of what working in an orphanage would be like.

I'd like to be able to help out at my camp again this summer. It'd only be a week of my summer (some time in July, I think). I really enjoyed running Odyssey and games and the CITs last summer.

I'm considering returning to South Africa. I miss my family and kiddos over there like no one's business! Nikki and Reagan have told me that I am welcome anytime, and I know that they can always use more help.

I think it may be wise to do something psych related to get a better feel for the field here (though I may or may not end up here long term).

Also throwing around the possibility of working at another camp, perhaps one focused on kids with special needs.

I'm also considering the reality that I have bills that need to be payed, and though I'd love to return to Africa or camp or volunteer somewhere this summer, I want to be responsible as well.

Please pray for wisdom. Pray that God shows me His will, that I pursue what He wants rather than what I want. Pray that He shows me His will not only for this summer, but also for today, for right now, for my life.

May God bless you!

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.

"Naked I came from my mother's womb, and naked I will depart. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised." Job 1:21

Job's words best describe where I'm at right now. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised. The LORD gives, the LORD takes away. Still I will praise Him. His character remains the same. The LORD gives, and the LORD takes away.

This past week has been rough. God's really been challenging me. Long story short, the South Africa team from Cornerstone is off. There was a lot to bring us to this decision: safety concerns, communication issues, costs, just to name a few. But most importantly, God said don't go. For the past week I've been wrestling with this. Logically, there's a laundry list of reasons why we shouldn't go. But God is confined by our logic. His thinking is higher than ours could ever be. My going to South Africa this past semester didn't make logical sense either, but that was His plan. And His plan for this spring is for the CU team not to go. I have no idea why this is, but I know in my heart that this is what God wants. Though I don't like this reality and am disappointed, I have peace. This is what God has put on my heart.

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.

Oh to have the faith of Job! To lose everything, yet still praise God. I'm wrestling this with the South Africa team. I'm wrestling with this with my involvement with Africa in general. I don't know if God is asking me to, but I know that He's asking me if I'd be willing: willing to give up my love for and dreams of Africa if He calls me to do so. I can't see how this would make sense, but am I willing to do so if He asks me with? I wish I could give an affirmative yes, but to be honest it's something that I'll have to wrestle with for a while. I'd love for your prayers in this. Please pray that I learn to surrender every single part of myself to God, all of my hopes and dreams and being. Praying that nothing in this world could cause me to cease to praise His name. Pray that I can have faith like Job. Pray that God leads and guides me for His name sake. Pray that He becomes my only desire.

The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; may the name of the LORD be praised.

Break My Heart for What Breaks Yours

This has been my prayer lately. LORD, break my heart for what breaks Yours. Open my eyes to the opportunities that surround me, the opportunities that You've given me to speak your truth and love. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. Everything I am for Your kingdom's cause.

As I prepared for our presentation in chapel this morning, this was my prayer. Break my heart for what breaks Yours. I prayed that God would use me. That He would speak through me, that people would see and hear not me, but Him. I asked for words. I asked Him to help me make my peers understand the heartbreak of our world, of my babies in South Africa, of our God. The 30 seconds that I was given didn't do justice. The words that I had come up with simply weren't enough.

I should have learned by now that I should be careful what I ask God for, for He is a God who answers prayers. As I began to tell my story, tears filled my eyes; my mind couldn't help but venture to my babies. About 15 seconds in, I lost it. In front of my peers, my professors, and prospective students, I began to cry. I struggled to finished my tale then passed the mic, thoroughly embarrassed yet unable to contain my tears; my heart simply ached for these precious little ones. How I long to be with them!

After what seemed like an eternity, chapel was finished. My classmates were allowed to venture outside where they were met with hundreds of stories of orphans hung on clothesline all around campus. Meanwhile, I mulled in my humility. I don't like to cry in front of my closest friends, let alone a large portion of my school. After being comforted by a friend, God gently reminded me that this was what I had asked for. I had asked Him to speak in a way that would display His heart for these little ones, His heart for Francis. This is exactly what He had done.

Several conversations confirmed that I had nothing to be embarrassed about. Over and over I was told how my testimony touched hearts. Still, I felt silly.

It was until a few hours later than I realized how God had answered another part of my prayer. As my classmates sung around me, I prayed that God would shine through me, that this would be completely of Him and for Him. Again, gently He whispered, "Sharon, stop fretting about what people think of you. Stop worrying that they're going to perceive you as a chunkaboly. Remember: this isn't about you. It's about me. My truth was shown. My love for My children was shown.

I wish I could tell you that this has taken away all of the embarrassment. I'm still working on that. In the end though, God is good. His love and truth were shown, and that's all that really matters.

Chapel reinforced how much I miss my kiddos. I cried because I so want to be with them, so want to love them, so want to tell them the truth of who they are in Christ. The more that I pray for God to break my heart for what breaks His, the more that He does. And the harder it is to be here. I know that this is where God wants me; He's confirmed it over and over. But it's so hard being here as my heart breaks for my babies. Even harder is the fact that my life isn't completely consumed by service right now. Sure, I'm serving, but there's lovely school and such in there as well. I see the value of where God has me and trust His plan for having me here now, but it's hard.

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

If you want to see the One life video that we watched, click here.
For a video of our presentation, click here.
And for more about the Lives on the Line campaign, click here.

ACTs week!

This coming week has been dubbed ACT:s week. ACT:s is "a network of students committed to exploring what our faith says about poverty and injustice, using creative activism to bring issues to life and change hearts, and using our voices to advocate with our government leaders."

This week, CU's branch is promoting ACT:s through several events, including Orange T-shirt campaign, Lives on the Line, and One Life presentation in chapel on Friday. All of these events pertain to orphans.

For the Orange T-shirt campaign, we are selling t-shirts that say "Orphan" to spread awareness about the number of orphans around the world. We are selling them over the next week and a half and are asking students to wear them on December 1st, World AIDS day.

Lives on the Line includes stringing clothesline around campus and hanging different stories of orphans from around the world. During chapel on Friday, students will be invited to take a name card and pray for the child whose story is represented. Story cards featuring country profiles and stories of 10 different people affected by HIV and AIDS are hung from clothesline in a highly trafficked area of your campus. Students are invited to read the story cards, pick up one to keep throughout the day and respond through giving and advocacy.

In chapel on Friday, we will show a clip that will make students aware of the need in our world as well what they can do about it. The chapel will focus on how, while the overall problem may seem overwhelming, we have the power to change just one life.

We'll also be informing students of Advent Conspiracy. Advent Conspiracy is an international movement restoring the scandal of Christmas by substituting compassion for consumption. Essentially, it takes away the gift/money/stuff focus on Christmas in exchange for the community/love/worship focus. We're encouraging our classmates to give up the material demands of the holiday season for something deeper. For more information, click here.

Please pray for these events over the next few weeks. Pray that everything will come together. Pray that students will be open to our message and that hearts will be changed. Pray the eyes are opened to the needs of our world and a burning passion to do something is created. Pray that God breaks our hearts for what breaks His and gives us the wisdom to do something about our hurting world. Please pray especially as I speak on Friday. Pray that God gives me words to accurately express what He's been up to in my life. Pray that I'm able to stick to my time limit. tehe. Mostly, pray that hearts will be changed, both on campus and throughout the world because of the events of this week.

May God bless you throughout this week!

I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!

This is the thought that's been going through my mind lately. I don't want to be here. It's become a daily struggle of reminding myself why I'm here, reminding myself of the privilege of education, of how hard I've worked to get here. Most importantly, reminding myself that this is where God wants me right now, remembering that I need to trust Him and His plan over my own. Let me tell you, we serve a spectacular God.

Yesterday was particularly difficult. I was overwhelmed with missing Africa and wishing that I was there again. The day held constant reminders of what I'd been missing. Random comments in class. Reagan called me, and simply hearing his voice brought me to tears. I miss him and his family so much. The focus of our ACTs meeting (a student organization on group geared toward social justice) was on orphans. This cut deep. I couldn't help but think back to my babies in SA. How I miss them! How I want to be with them! As we walked to the library to work on an upcoming event, a friend asked how I was doing. I simply shrugged at her. When she asked what was wrong, I told her that I don't want to be here. She seemed to understand what I meant.

As we worked on our project, another girl in our group asked me a question about missions. Basically, she asked me if I thought that she should go on both the Haiti and South Africa missions trips. She figured since I had been to both places, I would be the best person to ask. I told her that I couldn't answer her question and, though it's horribly cliche, she needed to pray about it, asking for God's direction. When she told me that she'd been doing this, I asked her what God had been telling her. She told me that He had told her to go. I told her that that was her answer. I also asked her what was making her question whether to go or not. She admitted that part of the issue was money, though she knew that God could provide that. The other part was being afraid that she couldn't handle all of the heartbreak. I told her that she was going to see a ton of heartbreak in both places. I admitted to her that my heart broke daily for my babies in Africa. But allowing my heart to break for the things that break God's heart has lead me to joy, lend me to a compassion that I never knew I was capable of.

I realized two things last night. One, God has grown me a ton! There's no way that those were my words coming out of my mouth. God gave me words. Two, God answered why I'm here. He proved to me that He has a reason for having me here right now, that He's using me even here. He's using me to speak truth into the lives of my peers. He's using me to testify His power and mercy and grace and love and incredibleness! Earlier in our ACTs meeting, the leader of our group suggested that someone who had been to Africa speak at our event in chapel next Friday. Instantly, all eyes (seemingly at least) turned to me. But here's the crazy part. For the past few weeks I've been emailing people left and right trying to get an opportunity to speak in chapel. And here God has laid it in my lap! God is so good! Now I'm left to figure out how to condence six months of stories into a 30 second period. Tehe.

So even though I still don't really want to be here, I can see why God has me here. Constantly He amazes and surprises me. Our God is so good! Constantly He answers my prayers. Constantly He's using me. My God is so big, so strong, and so mighty; there's nothing my God cannot do! So, even though I don't want to be here, I'm trusting God's plan in having me here.

Praise the LORD!:
~For answered prayer
~For using me
~For the opportunity to speak in chapel
~For the opportunity to testify to what He's done in my life
~For His Truth
~For His patience
~For His comfort
~For His provision
~For His mercy, favor, and grace
~For growing me
~For hope
~For sunshine
~For the opportunity to get an education
~For dear friends
~For His patience
~For His faithfulness
~For His wisdom
~For His plan

Please pray:
~For the SA team from CU. We're a bit behind due to some technology problems. Pray that these will be resolved and we'll be able to begin meeting ASAP
~For Cynergy. Pray that God will overwhelm it and all that it touches with His mercy, favor, and grace. Pray that He will lead and guide their every step.
~For words as I speak in chapel next Friday. Pray that God once again speaks through me. I can't do this without Him.
~For wisdom as I continue to wrestle with being here when I so desire to be there.
~That God would continue to open my eyes to the opportunities that surround me.
~For strength over the next few weeks.
~That in all I do, I bring glory to His name.

SA team from CU

Good morning everyone!

Please keep the CU team in prayer. Applications are due tomorrow, and as of now only three people have applied. Please pray that students will follow through with their interest. More so, pray that God will bring the right people to apply for the trip. Pray that His will is done with this team and that He forms it in a way that brings glory to His name. Pray that we're able to come together as a team quickly. Pray that I have wisdom in leading this team; pray that Kimberly and I continue to bound and learn how to best work together. Pray for wisdom as we continue to work with Vox.

AHHHHHHHH! MY GOD CONTINUES TO BLOW MY MIND!!!

Eish! It's been a crazy semester in which God continues to blow my mind!

God's been teaching me a ton lately about daily surrendering my will to His and the importance of ensuring that every moment of my life revolves around Him. Not surprisingly, the more that I seek God, the more He shows up. What a mighty God we serve!

Plans for the South Africa trip in May from CU are coming along swimmingly. Currently we're working on an itinerary and putting a team together. We'll be in SA May 14-29.

Two amazing things that God's been doing in my life regarding the trip. The first is bringing Kimberly to the team. Kimberly is an RD at CU and will be serving as the faculty member on the trip. She is absolutely amazing! Already we've found several similarities between us, so it looks like we're going to make a great team. She has an incredible heart for people! I'm so thankful that God has put her in this team. :)

So, I've been working on getting a team from CU to go to SA pretty much since I stepped foot on CU's campus three years ago. The fact that it's finally becoming a reality is a both exciting and a bit surreal. This past Wednesday, CU had an event that told of all of the missions trips that are available this year. The shear number of trips going is outstanding! As part of this event, I had an opportunity to share a bit about the SA trip. Being a bit preoccupied by a thousand other things going on, I didn't have much time to prepare what I was going to say. As I awaited my turn, I prayed, "God, I could speak on this for hours; yet I have absolutely no idea what to say just now. I need words, LORD. Speak through me." I went up still now knowing what to say, and ended up mumbling on about how excited I was about the opportunity to share my passion for SA and its people with my classmates.

So, here's the exciting part. After the event, students had an opportunity to sign up for trips that they were interested in. Between this sign up and other events, there have been OVER FIFTY PEOPLE WHO HAVE SHOWN INTEREST IN GOING! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh! This is absolutely amazing! I am excited beyond words! Our God is so good!

Sadly, I haven't had a ton of contact with Nikki and Reagan, so I don't know a ton of what's going on in their lives and with Cynergy. I know that Cynergy is continuing to expand, which is awesome! The NexGen program is up and running, which is also exciting but stressful. The kids work out of Nikki and Reagan's home, which is quite stressful on the family as well as the couple as there's no seperation between home and work. Also, it's been hard having strangers in such intimate space, and they've had some stuff stolen from the house. There's been some personal stuff going on with them as well. Pray for them, please.

I got to catch up with Laura a bit yesterday, which was incredible needed! I just love her so much! Tehe. It was refreshing to be able to sit down with someone who gets it; someone who understands what I've seen and experienced and how hard it is to adjust back to life in the States again. It was a sweet time of catching up on one another's lives and being completely real.


Praise the LORD!:
~For His mercy, favor, and grace
~For constantly teaching and growing me
~For His truth
~For His provision
~For His wisdom
~For leading and guiding my every step
~For His incredible plan
~For the opportunities that He's given me
~For hope
~For Kimberly
~For the servant additude that is sweeping over my campus
~For His patience
~For Nikki and Reagan
~For Laura
~For His beauty and love

Please pray:
~For Laura and I as we continue to adjust back to life in the States
~For Nikki. Pray that God strengthens and encourages her daily. Pray that He gives her and Reagan wisdom in balancing work and family. Pray that their children are encouraged and overwhelmed with Christ's love.
~For my relationship with Kimberly. Pray that He blesses this and enables us to become an unstoppable time.
~That God provides a male faculty member to join the team as well
~For wisdom as we choose team members. As I said, we've had 50 people show interest in the team. Of this, we can only take 8. Interviews are gonna be tough. Please pray that we have wisdom. Pray that those who cannot go this time will not be discouraged.
~That God continues to shower us with His mercy, favor, and grace
~That God gives me wisdom as I try to balance all of my responsibilities. Pray that I have the wisdom to take time to focus on Him and that I take time for myself so I don't burn out.
~For the team. Pray that God binds us together in a way that no one can seperate. Pray that the team grasps my teaching about SA culture and history and that I have wisdom as I teach them.
~That God continues to humble me. Pray that He softens my heart and helps me relate to people that haven't shared my experiences rather than judge them. Pray that He removes the judgemental and critical spirit that I've seemed to pick up.
~Pray for wisdom in relations with Vox.