You can lead me, just not there

Growing up in church, I've heard countless sermons on the price of following Christ, including giving up your plans for His will.

When this was preached, it often focused on the American dream: having a nice, secure job with a nice, secure paycheck and a nice home in a safe and secure neighborhood with nice schools for your nice children who you are raising lovingly with your nice spouse with whom you own nice cars and nice stuff save for a nice retirement, all the while experiencing nice health in your life of comfort and security.. Christ called us to live quite a different lifestyle.

I never minded these sermons, never felt a twinge as they were spoken. You see, most of the above has no appeal to me. The deeper that I interact with my peers, the more that I realize that I am not your typical American college students (after all, I do like mornings, tehe). I don't want the secure job in the safe neighborhood with the perfect family that never experiences conflict. I want to experience life to the fullest and serve Christ with all that I am. I want my family to grow deeper in relationship through conflict and trial. I want to live in an environment that forces me to trust God for my daily needs and forces me to seek Him in all situations. I want to go where other people won't.

I've been back 7 months now, and I still haven't adjusted. It's much harder living in the security of CU's campus and in the routine of classes and school than it was to live in crazy Joburg in constant hero mode with Cynergy. Falling back into this lifestyle or into the lifestyle above has zero appeal to me, so when it's preached in church to leave these comforts behind and go out in the world I ask, "How soon can I leave?"

God's really been challenging me on this lately. I've always envisioned following God as doing something that the world would deem crazy. I'm more than ready to jump in with both feet to serve in South Africa or Zambia or Sudan or Haiti or the like.

As I try to figure out what God's will for my life is, He brought this question to my heart: "Sharon, what would be too much for Me to ask of you? I know that you are fully ready to leave your family and friends and dive into some grand adventure, but what if what i have planned for you is quite different? What if My plan is for you to stay? What if My plan for you was to work on the relationships that you struggle with most here? What if My plan was solely that you take care of yourself and grow in My truth? Would it be enough? Would you still follow me? What could be thrown in your path that would cause you to turn away?"

Eish! Those are incredibly tough questions. Giving up your dream for God's plan doesn't mean giving up the American dream or what the people around you say that you should be dreaming; it means giving up YOUR dream, giving up MY dream. Would I be satisfied if life here with a "comfy" job was what God had planned for me? Would I be satisfied if His grand call on my life was to take care of my family? Is there anything that that could turn me away from following where God leads, anything that would cause me to say, "Enough is enough!"?

Where you lead me, LORD, I will follow.