Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Here and now

Apparently I'm in a blogging mood this morning.  Or, more accurately, a reflective mood in which God is reminding me of His provision, hope, promise.

A few weeks ago I attended a funeral at which the family shared the deceased's philosphy on forks.  "Keep your fork, for the best is yet to come!"

Yet though we cling to the promise of eternity, we live in today.  So often, especially during the last few weeks as I wrap up my undergrad career, I've found myself dreaming about the future, trying to figure out next steps and where God's going to take me on this next chapter of life.

As I sat through the funeral hearing testimony after testimony of how this man had impacted the lives of so many, I dreamed of Africa.  "Papa, I don't want to waste this day.  I don't want to sit by and enrich my mind while my babies go unloved, uncared for."

Then patiently God reminded me of the here and now.  "My child, I have you here for a reason.  It's not a mistake, not a waste.  I'm not simply preparing you for the future.  I've given you a ministry, not just in the future, but now.  Right now, right where I have you, I have plans for you, plans to use you.  I have given you a ministry here.  Don't miss the opportunities of today by dreaming about the future.  Trust Me.  Trust my plan for you.  Daughter, not my plan for you 10 years from now, but my plan for you for today.  For now.  For this moment."

How quickly I forget.  LORD, you've given me this minstry.  You've given me the opportunity to obtain an education not just to stretch my mind but also to grow me in Your truth and to be used to show others Your truth, love, and justice.  It is because of You, not because of my own doing, that I have been put in a position of leadership, because of You that I have been given such influence.  Forgive me, LORD.  Forgive me for squandering the gifts and opportunities that You've given me.  Forgive me for getting so lost in the future that I loose sight of today.  Forgive me for growing weary in doing good.

Ultimately, my heart is in Africa.  I've had a taste of ministry there, and I long for more.  Nothing could make me happier than using my savings to by a plane ticket and return to my kiddos over there.  But that's not where God has me.  Not yet.  For whatever reason He's put on my heart a desire and opportunity to further my schooling.  It seems that His plan is to keep me Stateside a few more years.  He has things that He will teach me here.  He has ways that He's going to use me here.

And not just after graduation.  Here and now.  He has plans for me for this week.  Plans for this day.  Plans for this moment.  LORD, lead me in the paths of Your truth.  Don't let me give into the temptation of checking out.  You have a plan in this too, in the small things as well as the big.  Where You lead me, LORD, I will follow.  Not just in the future, but today, in this very moment. 

2 comments:

Caley said...

Thank you for this reminder. While I don't have anything that my heart is set on doing, it's easy to live for tomorrow after I finish my paper, or next week after I finish my finals, next hour when my class is over, or when I leave for Germany, etc.

You're amazing and I love you.

kd said...

gracias hermana. Necesite este. Yo orando por ti.