$7

I never cease to be amazed by God’s timing. Constantly He reassures me just as I’m about to give up hope.

This Zambia endeavor has been quite the adventure, and I haven’t even left the mitten yet. Tehe. As stated in previous posts, God simply keeps reassuring me of His plan in it.

Initially, I was really discouraged. I’d sent out support letters to many people who has supported me in the past, but received no response. I wrestled with trying to find time to invest in Zambia prep, but was too overwhelmed to add it to an already full plate. Thus, I told God that if He wanted this to happen, He’d have to make it happen because I couldn’t do it on my own strength.

Discouraged by the lack of support that I was receiving, I was ready to give up on the whole thing. In a prayer of telling God that I was throwing in the towel, I opened my mailbox to find a check for my trip. “My child, don’t give up. Trust my plan.”

A few weeks went by with no other responses to my support letters. Again, doubt set in. Seemingly out of the blue, a friend asked about how I had gotten involved in this whole Zambia endeavor. After I explained it to her, she told me that she truly believed God was leading me in this and wanted to support me. A few days later, she handed me a check of a large sum, especially for a college student. “My child, don’t limit who I will use in your life. Trust me.”

The more that I surrendered to God, the more support trickled in. “Trust Me, My child. Trust My plan for you.”

As I looked at plane tickets, my discouragement only grew. Because of the World Cup in South Africa, prices had sky rocketed. The cost of the ticket was more than I had originally planned to raise for the entire trip. . “Trust My plan.”

As I searched different websites scouring for the best deal, I was pleasantly surprised to find a ticket under two thousand dollars. Asking my mother’s advice as to if I should purchase it, she suggested that I first look at the surrounded dates to ensure the cheapest price. When I did, my excitement only grew. Were I to leave a day before or a day after, or return one day earlier or later, the price of the ticket would double! Some of the tickets were as much as 8 grand. What conformation! I bought the ticket, trusting that God would provide. “Trust Me, My child. My plan is greater that you can even imagine.”

The following weeks after buying my ticket, I again fell in to doubt (how foolish am I). I became so overwhelmed with all that I had to accomplish to finish up the school year and prepare for the summer and for next fall that I began playing with the idea of not going to Zambia. Temptations of less responsibility and more free time sounded extremely appealing; it would make life so much easier, so much more secure. “Trust Me, My child. You can do all things through My strength.”

It’s ironic to me how strong my doubts became after purchasing my ticket. Ironic because, really, after buying the ticket there’s no turning back. Not to go would mean to through 2 grand down the toilet, which isn’t going to happen. Funny how God times things. J

Initially I was really encouraged by the support that I was receiving. Over the last few days, I realize how much further I have to go. Yes, there’s a lot of money to raise, but emotionally, mentally, and spiritually I’m not at all prepared. I really have no idea what I’m getting myself into. I am completely inadequate to do this. “More of Me, less of you. Trust Me, My child. I’ve got this covered. I am the Great Provider. What can stand against Me?”

As I opened my mail box again, I was surprised to yet again find an envelope there. My own handwriting on the front indicated that it was from one of the people that I had sent a support letter to. When I opened it, I was surprised to simply find seven dollars. No note, no indication as to who this was from, simply a few dollar bills. “See My child, I’m supporting you through people that you’re not even aware of. Trust Me.”

I’m trying, LORD. Forgive me for my doubts. Forgive me for having such little faith. Increase my faith, Papa. You are bigger than I can ever imagine. NOTHING is impossible for you. I can do ALL THINGS through YOUR STRENGTH. Strengthen me, Papa. I need You. I am nothing without You. I need Thee every hour. Lead and guide me for Your name sake. In You alone I put my trust.